breaking

i don't think i've made any progress with Daddy this week. i did succeed in about alienating half of my friends at work by being the bitch from hell and loosing my normal "cool" personna. I've had to apologise to half the people i know. Ugh, not very proud of that. i'm normally the one everyone goes to for support and to vent...but i haven't been "present" enough emotionally for anyone this week. Everyone there is beyond stressed, including me...i know that life happens no matter how well things are going at work but it just seems like everything went to hell at once. Ironically i've noticed in the past that whenever i've been extremely stressed at work, it's also when Daddy is at His most frustrated with me....why is that i have to wonder...

Is it because it's just a "stressful" time of year for everyone...resulting in Daddy also having less patience because He's stressed too?

Is it because when i'm stressed i exude some "vibe" or my "slave'ness" is more lacking then normal? also leaving Daddy more stressed with my performance?

i try to have a positive attitude when at home, to smile and show that i can be my normal sweet self...but when so much is going on, it can be really hard...

i long to be enveloped by strong arms, rocked, held tight...allowed to sob out all my frustrations and sadness. But sadly those strong arms aren't there right now, they may never be there again and that makes my heart just about break in half.